The happiest people have strong relationships in their lives. http://tinyurl.com/29gseclb
Relationships are paramount to our survival and our well-being http://tinyurl.com/y9k2adt
How to get along with a workplace bully (wish I had read this years ago) http://tinyurl.com/2bsnxt9
Is resilience as easy as ABC..DE? Good article on a way of coping with adversity: http://tinyurl.com/24nqpse
What helps when adversity hits? Some good suggestions in this article http://tinyurl.com/yhbtfmz
Resiliency skills for a lifetime of ups and downs. Good article here http://tinyurl.com/26utz7u
What are your top 5 character strengths- find out http://tinyurl.com/26ou4me
How are you using your top character strengths- simple exercise to find out http://tinyurl.com/2cnsj4e
Using your strengths in activities you enjoy (and those you hate) http://tinyurl.com/2a286ph
The case for a more balanced approach to clinical assessment which focuses as much on strength as it does on weakness http://tinyurl.com/27gvz5y
Use your strengths–enjoy your job more and be more productive at your job http://tinyurl.com/y9czjcq
Helping children get into a state where they are receptive to learning-using their strengths in school http://tinyurl.com/284t3ss
Good book on building/using resilience in your life: http://tinyurl.com/2a3yswe
This book made a lot of sense to me- cognitive approach to resilience http://tinyurl.com/28×2293
Karen Reivich– an expert in resilience- and hilarious as a teacher. Here’s her book: http://tinyurl.com/2e6gya9
Meaning in work vs. meaning at work—there’s a big difference. Try this exercise http://tinyurl.com/24uot85
Do you see opportunities or only limitations in your future? Try this exercise http://tinyurl.com/2chbkdr
Do you have a job, a career, or a calling? Try this exercise for more insight http://tinyurl.com/2beyv74
Do you have these resilience characteristics? Find out-Check out this exercise http://tinyurl.com/2798p6d
Jumping to conclusions and other sink holes. Which of these undermine your resilience http://tinyurl.com/25r3×9o
Some jerk cut you off on the highway- how do you react to this and other adversities. Resilience exercise: http://tinyurl.com/2cuvf75
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So I’d like to have more friends in my life. But how well do I relate to others and do I actually enjoy meeting new people? Is the idea of going to a cocktail party where I don’t know anyone—do I view it as an exciting event or dreadful occasion? My sister-in-law is squarely in the former camp (loves parties!) while I’m inclined to think “how soon can I leave”.
I suppose I should look back at my history of relationships.
Attachment theory states that the quality of our childhood relationships with our parents has been determined to have profound implications on our healthy psychological functioning as adults. Research demonstrates that this helps to build a foundation of confidence, trust, and self-efficacy that will serves us over the course of a lifetime. Children with secure relationships tend to grow up to be more compassionate, altruistic, and attuned to the needs of others.
Exercise : How would you describe your relationships
A simple quiz was devised by psychologists Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver to understand how you relate to people in your life. Which answer best describes you?
* I find it relatively easy to get close to other people. I am comfortable depending on other people and having them depend on me. I don’t worry about being abandoned or about having someone get too close to me.
* I find it difficult to trust people completely. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others. I feel nervous when people start to get too close. Often, I feel like people want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being. I find it difficult to allow myself to depend on other people.
* I find that other people are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that someone I am close to doesn’t really love me or won’t want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this sometimes scares people away.
Answer number 1 describes secure relationships
Answer number 2 describes avoidant relationships
Answer number 3 describes ambivalent relationships.
I do find it easy to get close to other people—including my parents when they were alive. So it’s not the quality of the relationships that I’m fussed by, I’d just like to have a few more of them.
How did you answer the question above—describing your relationships? Do you believe it has to do with attachment theory?
Recommended Reading:
Minding the Close Relationship by John H. Harvey and Julia Omarzu
References:
Gottman, J. & DeClaire, J. (2001). The relationship cure: A 5 step guide to strengthening your marriage, family, and friendships. New York: Three Rivers Press.
Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (2000). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert. New York: Three Rivers Press.
Goleman, D. (2006). Social Intelligence. The Revolutionary New Science of Human Relationships. New York: Bantum Dell.
Harvey, J. H. (2001). Odyssey of the Heart: Close Relationships in the 21st Century. 2nd ed. New York: W.H. Freeman.
Harvey, J.H. & Omarzu, J. (1999). Minding the Close Relationship: A Theory of Relationship Enhancement. New York: Cambridge University Press.
Don’t we all want to be happy – and live a fulfilled and contented life? But why then do many of us spend much of our time being unhappy and discontented? Why do we complain about what we don’t have more often than giving thanks for what we do have? Do you find yourself holding on to grudges? Do we really believe that happiness and contentment are just around the corner if only we could get there? If only we could get even? Try a dose of gratitude and forgiveness—you will be amazed at how powerful a medicine these can be especially when you practice offering them every day. This course will introduce you to the simple yet complex theories behind gratitude and forgiveness.
Tom NewmanI started with the course on character strengths. I feel like I am more aware of how to leverage my assets– and why it’s so important.
Zone Positive offers you exciting ways to develop both personally and professionally. Learn about the burgeoning science of positive psychology and how the positivity approach can be used to help you move forward in life. Take our free introductory course as a starting point, then take any one or more of the courses we offer to deepen your understanding of the field.
