Zone Positive

The happiest people have strong relationships in their lives. http://tinyurl.com/29gseclb

Relationships are paramount to  our survival and our well-being http://tinyurl.com/y9k2adt

How to get along with a workplace bully (wish I had read this years ago) http://tinyurl.com/2bsnxt9

Is resilience as easy as ABC..DE? Good article on a  way of coping with adversity: http://tinyurl.com/24nqpse

What helps when adversity hits? Some good suggestions in this article http://tinyurl.com/yhbtfmz

Resiliency skills for a lifetime of ups and downs. Good article here http://tinyurl.com/26utz7u

What are your top 5 character strengths- find out http://tinyurl.com/26ou4me

How are you using your top character strengths- simple exercise to find out http://tinyurl.com/2cnsj4e

Using your strengths in activities you enjoy (and those you hate) http://tinyurl.com/2a286ph

The case for a more balanced approach to clinical assessment which focuses as much on strength as it does on weakness http://tinyurl.com/27gvz5y

Use your strengths–enjoy your  job more and be more productive at your job http://tinyurl.com/y9czjcq

Helping children get into a state where they are receptive to learning-using their strengths in school http://tinyurl.com/284t3ss

Good book on building/using  resilience in your life: http://tinyurl.com/2a3yswe

This book made a lot of sense to me- cognitive approach to resilience  http://tinyurl.com/28×2293

Karen Reivich– an expert in resilience- and hilarious as a teacher. Here’s her book: http://tinyurl.com/2e6gya9

I have a wonderful marriage, but I’d like more friends . My best friend is my husband.  We live together, work together, exercise together, and even do errands with each other. I’m wondering if this is a normal and healthy situation.

Research from positive psychology demonstrates that positive relationships make us happier in the long run.  Psychology professors Ed Diener and Martin Seligman have found in their studies that the very happiest people are those in long-term relationships.  Their studies also show that married people consistently report higher levels of life-satisfaction than those who are single.  In fact, research indicates that people with strong social networks, whether it be through family, friendships, community, or the workplace, tend to live happier, more fulfilling lives. 

So this is what’s bugging me.  I don’t have a strong social network.  With my family and work (and a few cats and dogs) as the focal point of my life, I haven’t reached out to others—I haven’t built other connections.  The question is why?

• Not enough time in my life?
• I am content with my narrow world?
• It takes too much effort to meet new people?
• I don’t relate well to others?
• All of the above?

What about you?  Do you have a strong social network?  Do your friends contribute to your happiness?  I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

Recommended Reading:

The Relationship Cure  by John M. Gottman

References:

Gottman, J. & DeClaire, J. (2001). The relationship cure: A 5 step guide to strengthening your marriage, family, and friendships. New York: Three Rivers Press.

 Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (2000). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert. New York: Three Rivers Press.

Goleman, D. (2006). Social Intelligence. The Revolutionary New Science of Human Relationships.  New York: Bantum Dell.

Harvey, J. H. (2001). Odyssey of the Heart: Close Relationships in the 21st Century. 2nd ed. New York: W.H. Freeman.

Harvey, J.H. & Omarzu, J. (1999). Minding the Close Relationship: A Theory of Relationship Enhancement. New York: Cambridge University Press.

Don’t we all want to be happy – and live a fulfilled and contented life? But why then do many of us spend much of our time being unhappy and discontented?  Why do we complain about what we don’t have more often than giving thanks for what we do have?   Do you find yourself holding on to grudges?  Do we really believe that happiness and contentment are just around the corner if only we could get there? If only we could get even?  Try a dose of gratitude and forgiveness—you will be amazed at how powerful a medicine these can be especially when you practice offering them every day.  This course will introduce you to the simple yet complex theories behind gratitude and forgiveness.

How do people deal with difficult situations that change their lives? The death of a loved one, loss of a job, serious illness, terrorist attacks and other traumatic events: these are all examples of very challenging life experiences. Many people react with strong emotions and a sense of uncertainty.  Yet other people generally adapt well over time to life-changing situations and stressful conditions.  This course will help you understand the power of  resilience and how it can help you  cope with the ups and downs of life.

For many years traditional psychology has focused on us as individuals. It has all been about us!  Yet one of the most consistent findings from Positive Psychology is that other people matter.  Extroverts report being significantly happier than introverts.  Our willingness to trust others drives our ability to forge meaningful relationships and succeed in teams and in love.  How trusting are you of your friends and your colleagues?  What’s holding you back?  Our course in Positive Relationships probe these questions and more.

This is one of the foundation theories of Positive Psychology. Learn why strengths matter—and how they operate as one of the basic drivers of well-being.  You will come to understand your own character strengths and how to apply these gifts towards a more flourishing and fulfilling life.